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User blog:Rarity7Best/In Their Own Write: Vacation: Episode 1: Packing Up
I have decided to take In Their Own Write off hiatus with the SBFR blog series Vacation, starting (of course) with its pilot, Packing Up. ---- Text in Courier New font indicates messages on chat. Suddenly chat is in the same font as IRC (it'd be cool if it were, though). +1 sin *''Da Nerd is seen in his bedroom, packing suitcases. It is shown that his computer screen is on with the SpongeBob Fan Wiki chat open. The entire gang is online, along with Kjjb, JellyfishJam38, and an away JCM.'' I'm not counting this as a sin, but I will just say that K#jb's name should be censored. *''chat with Toph'' Da Nerd: So when are we planning on going? *TopherGopher: Idk. *TopherGopher: I'm still packing up. *Da Nerd: Same. *TopherGopher: I'll be ready at about 4. *Da Nerd: k *''chat with Simon'' Da Nerd: He says 4. *SimonAnderson23: okay *SimonAnderson23: wait that's when he's gonna be ready? {No, that's when he's going to meet Ariana Grande in person, goofball}. +1 sin *Da Nerd: Yeah. *SimonAnderson23: okay, thanks. *Da Nerd: np *''chat with Suds'' Da Nerd: Okay, we've agreed that we should start driving to the airport by 4. *Suds47: okay *Suds47: i might be a little late *Da Nerd: That's okay. We'll probably just be hanging out in the hotel room. *Suds47: alright *''Da Nerd turns off his computer, closes his packed suitcase, jumps on his bed and turns on his TV.'' *''The camera zooms in on Da Nerd's clock which reads 2:57.'' *''to later, in same position'' *''The clock now reads 6:06. Da Nerd is asleep with the TV on.'' The movie doesn't bother to explain if it's AM or PM. +2 sins *''Da Nerd's phone, on his nightstand, rings.'' *''After about 4 rings, Da Nerd wakes up and tiredly answers the phone.'' *'Da Nerd:' restless Hello? *'Toph ''phone: Da Nerd, where are you? '''When has Chris ever called Ben by his full username? +1 sin *'Da Nerd:' What are you talking about? I'm at home. *'Toph:' Do you have any idea what time it is? *''Da Nerd looks over at the clock. He jumps up from his bed in shock.'' *'Da Nerd:' Holy shit! Dude, I'm so sorry. I fell asleep. I'll get on the next plane as soon as I can. *'Toph:' Hurry! *''While hanging up, Da Nerd throws the remote at the TV, which breaks it.'' I honestly have no words to explain what I think about this scene. +3 sins He then gets his jacket and suitcase and runs out the door. He gets into his car, turns the key, and speeds out of the driveway. Ben was 12 when he wrote this. How the hell does he know how to drive? +3 sins *''Several cars honk at Da Nerd as he speeds past the road. He completely ignores traffic rules.'' *''Soon, a police car has its siren on behind Da Nerd's car. He pulls over, angrily.'' *''The policeman gets out of his car while Da Nerd rolls down his window.'' *'Da Nerd:' annoyed What? *'Policeman:' "What?" You were going 95 in a 25 MPH speed limit zone. As this is your first offense, I'll just let you off with a ticket. The police officer completely ignores the fact that Ben shouldn't be legally allowed to drive. +5 sins *'Da Nerd:' Oh, well actually I'm going out of town so-- *'Policeman:' You can't leave town. *''Da Nerd restarts his engine while the policeman is distracted, writing the ticket.'' *'Da Nerd:' Oh yes I can. *''Da Nerd speeds away and to the airport. He barely parks in time, landing right in the middle of two parking spaces. He runs into the airport while pressing the "Lock" button on his car keys. He rockets to the desk.'' *'Da Nerd:' breathless Hey. *'Woman at desk:' Hey? *'Da Nerd:' When's... the next plane... to Pellville? *'Woman at desk:' Oh, it's planned to take off in... something on keyboard 6 seconds. This episode needs more 7. +3 sins *''Soon, a plane is seen taking off out the window.'' *'Woman at desk:' But I can have you get on the next plane at... noon tomorrow. Without a legal parent or guardian? Mmmmk. +3 sins *'Da Nerd:' Tomorrow? No-no-no-no-no, I need to get there today. *'Woman at desk:' Sorry. *''Da Nerd, frustrated, sits down in a bench near the entrance.'' *'Da Nerd:' What am I gonna do? *''He sits there for a second, then pulls out his phone.'' *'Da Nerd:' Damn, no service. *''Da Nerd tries standing up.'' *'Da Nerd:' Still? *''He then looks around and finds a table next to another bench, where someone is sitting.'' *'Da Nerd:' Sorry. *''He holds his phone up in the air, standing on top of the table.'' *'Da Nerd:' Really!? *''He walks over to the desk again.'' *'Woman at desk:' Yes? *'Da Nerd:' Do you have Wi-Fi here? *'Woman at desk:' We do, actually. Just use the password "pvairlines089". *'Da Nerd:' Alright, thanks. *''Da Nerd opens the "Connection" window on his phone, and taps the Wi-Fi option. He then taps "Prior Valley Airlines" and types in the password "pvairlines089". It immediately connects, with 2 bars.'' *''He then opens the SpongeBob Fan Wiki chat. There is no one online, but an away Kjjb. He closes chat. He then calls Toph.'' *''The phone doesn't ring once. Instead, it plays the voicemail message.'' *'Toph (voicemail):' Hey! I'm not at the phone right now. Leave a message, kay? *'"Voicemail Lady":' Once you have finished recording your message, you may hang up or press 1 for more options. To leave a callback number, press 5. *''The phone beeps.'' *'Da Nerd:' Yeah, Toph? I'm not gonna be able to get on a plane until tomorrow. I'm sooooo sorry. Bye. *''He hangs up. He then eyes a "campout section" sign with a door under it. He goes inside the door and there's a man in uniform there.'' *'Man:' Hey, how can I help you? *'Da Nerd:' What is this? *'Man:' A campout section. Basically, you can sleep here overnight and get free dinner and breakfast. It's only $73 for one night. Isn't that for homeless people? +1 sin *'Da Nerd:' Sure. *''Da Nerd gets his wallet out and hands a $100 bill to the man. He recieves the $27 change and goes into the sleeping bags room. He then sees a sign in the room that says "SLEEPING BAGS ARE CUSTOMARY! PLEASE ONLY TAKE ONE."'' *''He takes a sleeping bag and goes into the campout area, where he sees another man in uniform.'' *'Man:' Hello. Take a number off the wall. *''Da Nerd obeys and takes a preforated ticket with a number 137 on it.'' *'Man:' Alright, now go to Larry over there, and he'll set you up with a room. *''Da Nerd obeys this command as well, and goes over to the only other man in uniform.'' *'Larry:' Alright, you're number 137? *'Da Nerd:' Yes. *'Larry:' Okay, you'll be in room 7C. Do all the adults in this movie seriously not give a shit that Ben is obviously underaged? +4 sins *''Larry hands Da Nerd a card with "ROOM 7C KEY" on it. Da Nerd looks around and finds the room labeled 7C. He tests his card on the lock, and it opens. When he goes inside, he sees several rooms. One of them has "132-139" on it. He goes in.'' *''The 5 people inside all greet Da Nerd with a yelling of "137!"'' *''Da Nerd sets his sleeping bag up in an empty space in the room. He goes inside his sleeping bag and gets out his phone yet again. He watches the phone connect to the Prior Valley Airlines Wi-Fi and opens up Facebook. He sees that he has a message. He opens his message icon and in there is a message from Toph. The preview of the message reads, "Dude what the hell are you..."'' When has Chris ever given anyone - let alone Ben - his Facebook? +1 sin He opens the message and the message in full reads, "Dude what the hell are you doing. Stop '''f#cking' around and get over here!" Below it reads "29 seconds ago - Sent from mobile". He then soon receives another message saying, "Sorry, Violet stole my phone. When are you gonna get here?"'' Suddenly Violet is on her period. +1 sin Da Nerd responds with, "Probably not until around 4 tomorrow. Sorry." He goes back to his home screen and opens up his Neon Flow app, keeping the Messenger icon for Toph open on the side of the screen. He finishes a few levels, then sees that Toph has responded to his response. He opens it, waits for it to load, and sees a "k". He opens back up Neon Flow and is seen playing it until dinner is served. *''The "servant" (as the other people in the room call her) brings sandwiches for everyone in the room on plates with a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos in the middle. She then leaves the room. Everyone starts eating the sandwiches. A few people start fighting over the bag and it pops open, filling the entire room with chips.'' *''Everyone jumps at the chips, eating them right off of the ground. A few bump into Da Nerd, which makes him mess up on Neon Flow.'' *'Da Nerd:' Hey! Watch it! *''Everyone ignores him.'' I have no words for this scene. +1 sin *''to 11:00 PM'' *''Everyone is sleeping, except for one kid in the corner and Da Nerd. Da Nerd cannot fall asleep, while the kid in the corner is playing'' Grand Theft Auto on his iPad. Da Nerd can tell because of the screams of hookers, gunshots, and police car sirens. How the hell can you play GTA on your iPad? +2 sins Da Nerd rustles around in his pocket and pulls out his earbuds. He hooks them up to his phone and starts playing some music. He soon falls asleep. *''to 10:00 AM'' *''Everyone is awake. Da Nerd is woken up from his phone's alarm.'' *'Da Nerd:' Whoa! *''Everyone laughs.'' Yes, a 12-year-old boy being woken up by his cell phone is hilarious. +1 sin Da Nerd gets up and puts clothes on. He then goes into the bathroom and brushes his teeth. He then gets out his phone and goes on Facebook Messenger. He sees that he has another new message. He opens it and sees it's from Toph. It reads, "Just get here as soon as you can." Below it reads, "4 hours ago - Sent from Messenger". He responds, "I will." He takes another look at the time: 10:14. He sets his alarm for 11:30 and falls back asleep. *''When Da Nerd's phone's alarm rings, he wakes up instantly, knocking over the bowl of cereal set right beside him.'' *'Da Nerd:' What the--? *''Da Nerd ignores it, grabs his stuff and walks back to the airport section.'' Wowr00d. +2 sins He then gets a ticket for the next plane to Pellville and waits on the bench. He then goes to the corresponding room and gets on the plane. The director of this series was so lazy he couldn't even throw in a time transition. +3 sins He takes his seat and takes his phone back out. *''to plane landing'' *''Da Nerd joins the line of people getting off the plane, and calls a taxi. He gets picked up from the airport and to Pellville Hotel. He goes down the hallway and knocks on the door labeled 109. A kid the same age of Da Nerd answers the door.'' Ben described him and Chris as being the same age in this series yet still denied being 12 at the time. +3 sins *'Kid:' Hello? *'Da Nerd:' Is this the right room? *'Kid:' That depends. Do you know the password? *'Da Nerd:' What? Oh, Spongemarket P. *'Kid:' Oh, hey Da Nerd! *'Da Nerd:' Let me guess... are you Toph? *'Toph:' Yep. Come on in! *''Da Nerd walks into the room.'' *'Toph:' Hey guys, I found Da Nerd! *'Everyone:' Hey Da Nerd. *'Da Nerd:' Hey guys. Toph, can you introduce me? *'Toph:' I think you can kinda tell. Just remember, that's Suds, and that's Simon. *'Da Nerd:' Alright. Here, let me make sure. *''Da Nerd goes around the room, clarifying names.'' *'Da Nerd:' So... you're Simon. *'Simon:' Yeah. *'Da Nerd:' Suds. *'Suds:' Sup? *'Da Nerd:' Ponyo. *'Ponyo:' Hey, DN. *'Da Nerd:' Tanner? *'Tanner:' Call me Laz, but yeah. *'Da Nerd:' And Desu. *'Desu:' Desu. Having a sockpuppeting troll/vandalspammer appear in a blog series automatically calls for 3 sins. +3 sins *'Toph:' Alright, great. *'Da Nerd:' So... what are we up to? *'Toph:' Right now we're just hanging out. *'Tanner:' Yeah. Except Ponyo and I are getting smexy. When was the last time I called Violet by her screen name? +1 sin *'Ponyo:' playfully Laaaaaz! *'Tanner:' Yes, my love? *'Ponyo:' Oh my God Laz, stop! *''Ponyo pushes Tanner, who pushes her back.'' *'Simon:' Awk - ward. Simon usually avoids the topic of sexuality/dating. How do you know what his reaction would be? +1 sin *'Da Nerd:' So, where do I sit? *'Desu:' Here, there's another seat right by me. *''Everyone "ooh"s.'' +2 sins *'Da Nerd:' Shut the hbleepck up! *''Everyone looks at Da Nerd strangely.'' *'Da Nerd:' Oh yeah. *''Da Nerd pulls out a device from his shirt.'' *'Da Nerd:' I have this. It's a hbleepck censor. It hbleepcking censors every hbleepcking time I say hbleepck. Pretty hbleepcking cool, huh? *'Suds:' I guess? *'Toph:' Yeah. Do I even have to make fun of this? +1 sin *'Tanner:' Ponyo, when are we gonna '? *'Ponyo: Later. When everyone's asleep. That's not really how it goes down in PM. And seriously, when was the last time I called Violet by her screen name? +3 sins *'Da Nerd:' Not everyone. Desu and I'll probably be doing the same thing. *'Desu:' Desu. Pretty sure Violet soaked herself to this scene - if you know what I mean (no rhyme intended). +1 sin *'Simon:' Wait, there's only 2 bedrooms. Who's gonna sleep where? *'Suds:' You and I can sleep here on the couch. Da Nerd and Desu in one room, Ponyo and Laz in another... and Toph can sleep here too I guess. I am now convinced this was originally a yaoi manga intended for girls. +2 sins *''Everyone mutters in agreement.'' *'Toph:' Alright, we got that figured out. Now what are we gonna do for the rest of the day? *'Da Nerd:' I guess we could just play on our phones and shit. *''After a delay, everyone gets out their phones, turns them on and starts using them.'' *''of episode'' When have my parents ever let me have a smartphone? +1 sin SIN COUNTER *'TOTAL': 49 *'SENTENCE': 9 HOURS AT CAMPOUT SECTION Category:Blog posts Category:Vacation (series) Category:Tanner Schnabel Category:In Their Own Write Category:Reviews